| Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: | | | | For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!" Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | Sponsor 3 Foods That KILL Belly Fat Fast In this free presentation Caleb reveals 3 different types of foods that eliminate hunger, burn calories, and ignite fat loss for men and women. Plus, he even shows you why stomach crunches and situps are the LAST thing you should be doing if you want to lose inches off your waist. Get the scoop on these 3 special types of foods today! | | Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a train.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Well... The bad news first...
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town.
To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.
He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked.
"I am." said the man.
"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"
The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."
"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.
"Here's your chicken." said the farmer. Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | Free Daily Recipes from ArcaMax The holidays are here, so now is a great time to start looking for new recipes to share with your family! Check out recipes for pumpkin caramel ice cream pie, or start planning ahead for your family's very own holiday feast, with the free ArcaMax Recipes ezine.
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-- From the ArcaMax editors
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