| Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: | 3 Foods That KILL Belly Fat Fast In this free presentation Caleb reveals 3 different types of foods that eliminate hunger, burn calories, and ignite fat loss for men and women. Plus, he even shows you why stomach crunches and situps are the LAST thing you should be doing if you want to lose inches off your waist. Get the scoop on these 3 special types of foods today! | | Editor's Note: You receive Late Night Jokes because you are subscribed to the Jokes ezine. This PM edition is sent Monday through Friday.
Click here to stop receiving the evening edition. | | Mitt Romney said he wants to cut funding for things like Amtrak and PBS, both of which are subsidized by the government. I don't like the idea of cutting funds for PBS. Things are bad enough already. One of the Muppets is living in a garbage can.
Jimmy Kimmel Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | Sponsor Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in Consumer Expressions' New Car promotion. Win the keys to a brand new Ford Mustang! Just take a short survey to reserve your spot in the sweepstakes. You don't want to miss your chance to win this legendary car. Click here for details... | | Top Ten Rejected Lionel Rich Song Lyrics
10.Hello? This connection's pretty bad // I can't hear you very well // I want to meet me where? // Let me call you from a landline // Are you there?
9.Odd-behaving squirrel // You may be rabid?
8.There was Portman, Daniels, Christie, Pawlenty // For the VP run // We had Rubio, Santorum, Demint and Condoleezza // They'd all be so much fun // But Paul Ryan won! (Paul Ryan) Paul Ryan (Paul Ryan) // He's got guns (Paul Ryan)?
7.I couldn't help noticing your house is such a dump // The whole place is in disorder // Magazines and piles of things cover everything up // Never knew you were a hoarder // Turns out it's eBay (Ah Ah Ah) // This eBay crap is habit-forming?
6.Oh what a feeling // They raised the national debt ceiling?
5.Stuck on you // I bet you wish you weren't drunk // When you went and got that tattoo // Yes it's truly lame // That you misspelled your name?
4.Slip out of your robe, hear my plea // I'm guilty of wanting to hold you near me // Judge Judy!?
3.You were right (so right) // I spoiled my appetite // Eating hors d'oeuvres // Olive Garden serves // Those endless breadsticks?
2.Preparing for the beach // There are places we can't reach // I'll spray you, you spray me // With aerosol sunscreen // SPF 15 1.Mitt's got a beach house // Car ele?
vator // Brings Cadillacs up and down // Mitt's got a beach house
David Letterman Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | Thank you for coming out on a hot day. The heat has not let up here. It was 109 today in Los Angeles. I was sweating like a Medicare patient at a Romney-Ryan rally. I was sweating like Kristen Stewart watching a rerun of "Cheaters." That's how bad I was sweating.
Jay Leno Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | The White House just revealed that it brews its own beer and President Obama drinks it when out campaigning. And even more of it when Joe Biden goes out campaigning.
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