| Jokes by ArcaMax, sponsored today by: | | | | With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?" one of them asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."
Another half hour passed before another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
A while later and again the guests asked, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"
"When it cries!" she told them.
"When it cries?" they gasped. "Why do we have to wait until it cries?"
"Because, I forgot where I put it." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | Sponsor Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in Consumer Expressions' New Car promotion. Win the keys to a brand new Ford Mustang! Just take a short survey to reserve your spot in the sweepstakes. You don't want to miss your chance to win this legendary car. Click here for details... | | A man had tickets to Game Seven of the Stanley Cup Final right at center ice. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"
"Well, actually," the man responds, "the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head, "No, no one. They're all at the funeral." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | Abbott.
Abbott who?
Abbott time you answered the door! Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." Print | Comment | Tweet It | Facebook It | | | | | More Jokes from ArcaMax.com | | | | |
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